By fifty Dad has had thirty years to buy his own tools, so a fiftieth gift has to be one of three things: an upgrade on something he already owns, a consumable he will use up, or an experience he would never book for himself.
The fiftieth is the birthday where the usual approach stops working, and it stops working for a specific reason: he has had three decades of disposable income and he has already bought the obvious things.
Which is good news, because it narrows the field to three categories instead of leaving you staring at the whole shop.
What was happening the year he was born
A dad turning 50 this year was born in 1976. Not a rounding: it is this year’s calendar in Brisbane minus 50, worked out when the page was built, so it is still right next year when everything else on a page like this has quietly gone stale.
- In Australia that year. The Sullivans went to air on the Nine Network on 15 November 1976 and ran for 1,114 episodes.
- The car. Holden’s HX and Ford’s XC Falcon both landed in July 1976, each reworked for the new ADR27A emissions rules. No single answer that year, which is itself the story.
- Number one. Howzat, Sherbet, four weeks from 12 July. Kent Music Report.
- What a week’s work paid. The federal minimum wage was $98 a week.
Which puts his teenage years in the 1990s, and that is the more useful fact of the two. The picks below come from the nineties dad page rather than from an age bracket, because taste formed at fifteen is what a gift has to hit.
Three categories, and nothing else really works
Upgrades. He owns a version of it and has for years. You are buying the better one, which he can justify for someone else and never for himself.
Consumables. Something good that gets used up: the whisky he would not buy by the bottle, the coffee he does not usually order, the rub or the sauce he would never pay that much for. No shelf space, no obligation.
Experiences. The day out, the class, the drive, the tour. A man who owns everything can still be short of things in the diary, and the diary is where a fiftieth is remembered from.
A fiftieth is usually pooled, so the budget is not a normal budget
This is the practical difference between a fiftieth and a fortieth. Fiftieths tend to have a party, and a party means several people asking each other what they are getting him.
One good thing from six people beats six safe things from six people, every time. If you are the one organising it, say the number out loud early. The awkward conversation is much cheaper than six candles and a cheeseboard.
What not to buy for a 50th
A bottle of the whisky he already drinks. It is not a gift, it is a restock, and he will be polite about it.
Anything with 50 printed on it. Novelty age merchandise is thrown out within a fortnight and everybody in the room knows it while he is opening it.
A tool he already owns a working version of. This is the most common miss at fifty, and the fix is thirty seconds in his shed before you buy.
If you are stuck, work backwards from when Dad was fifteen
Taste formed at fifteen does not move much, and the decade he was a teenager in tells you what the reference is rather than what the demographic is. It is a far better shortcut than his age.
The decade page linked below is the same catalogue sorted by that question instead of by a number.
